Photoshop

As a photojournalist, it’s our job to tell the story as it happened. We do everything right the first time: exposure, composition, color balance…you name it, and we don’t fuck it up.

Wait, who am I kidding? Isn’t that what Photoshop is for? Did you shoot on 1600 ISO with tungsten white balance in broad daylight? Never fear, because a real photojournalist doesn’t have time to be a pussy and double check the settings on their gear. We’re too busy being government watchdogs/feature-hunting for kids eating ice cream cones to care about proper exposure, whatever that is.

In fact, with Photoshop, a seasoned photog doesn’t even have to try to make a good image. Just throw your mundane, boring-ass picture into Photoshop and let the fucking magical CS5 unicorns do their work.

There may not be an un-suck filter, but 15 layer masks can come pretty damn close.